This is the question prompt we were given to answers, I felt like it helped me understand what direction to go in a bit better. Some of the questions that I am always wondering about my self but have never written down, it will be interesting to read the answers again at the end of the semester. Although this was just an assignment for Digital Cinema Two I figured it would be a good resource for the other classes in case my peers were wondering about what motivates me.
1, Peculiarities of my life that have made me see with special eyes are…
A large part of my life has revolved around the struggle I have with my social identity. Since I was a child I have been confused about my heritage, Should I ask people to pronounce my name Jorge as it is written or the english variation George? As a first generation immigrant I have many opportunities to be the first in my family to break ground in advanced education and other things, such as career opportunities and amenities that come with being from one of the more influential countries in the world. When I was seven my family moved from South-central Los Angeles, California to Rogers, Arkansas. This move provided a sort of culture shock that I am grateful for as an adult. Moving amplified the interest in my heritage and being an inquisitive youngster I soon realized that the celebration of heritage to the other kids was different from mine. One of the more blaring examples that comes to mind is Thanksgiving, to the other kids it was about being proud of these anglos that came to the new world and made friends with the natives. I had a rather militant cousin who would not necessarily ruin these sorts of celebrations by reminding me that part of my heritage was being conquered by those anglos that I had to color in each year. A side from that, Rogers has a relatively small town feel to it, so being in the South made it a racially charged place for me and my family. I still find it strange that some of the best friends I have are racists who sport confederate flags and hope for the rising of the South.
2, Conflicts formative in my life are…
As I stated above one of the main struggles that I have faced over my life time have to do with identity. It is strange to think about insecurities in my life when I was growing up. There was a strange while there where I was receiving a lot of flack from other hispanics in my peer group for being "white wash."For those who don't know what that means, "White Wash" is in essence being assimilated in to white culture and turning a cold shoulder to more traditional ways or modes of thinking. This happened to me because of the friends I chose to surround my self with, Nathan Redman was my best friend at the time and his perspective informed a lot of what I found interesting and usually that it was something that most hispanics do not find appealing. I remember that once I was in the hall way during junior high when these two hispanic kids were having this ridiculous argument over whether Catholicism was a Christian religion. When they asked me what I though about the subject I responded that I was an Atheist, a radical thought that me and Nathan had worked out. To make a long story less long, the two boy found my response ridiculous and spread the word of the white wash atheist kid that no one should hang around with. This would have been more devastating to me if I had not have had the support of my good friend Nathan. This experience and many more like it have left me with a resentful taste in my mouth for the ideal of "La Raza" or the interconnectivity hispanics share when regarding one another as extended family. At the same time this Immigrant struggle also effected my work and has been the focus of most of my favorite projects.
3, Themes I'd Like to Work With…
I've had an interest in alienation and what drives people to disconnecting from their enviroment. What drives us to a point where we want to be isolated and detached. Why do we ignore and detach people who live around us? Horror is a genre of film that I feel examines these sorts of questions. Not necessarily horror as in Saw or Hostel, but instead a more psychological approach to the subject. I find more invested and engaged with slower paced tension filled films opposed to "torture porn" films like I listed before. Maybe not just within horror, just what makes the audience have a complex emotional connection to my subject matter. Getting someone on the edge of their seat is the sign of doing a good job in my opinion, I hope to be able to do this someday soon.
4, Types of Characters I Empathize with...
Generally I tend to Empathize more with anti-hero characters. Characters that have flawed perceptions or a skewed system of morals are more interesting to me. For me it is hard to enjoy a film with a character that is perfect in everything and the only struggle he faces is a physical feat or race for a resolution. I enjoy watching a character arch that has as many down points as it has up points. I want a narrative that makes its players confront their demons, not only confront but to explore and question them as well. An example of an anti-hero that fits my fancy is the character Hesher. Hesher is the embodiment of disdain, he love metal music, he follows his own rules, and he has a general disregard for social convictions. The reason he becomes endearing to me though is that he does have a code, and that code might not include open affection for those you care about but it does translate to a deeper concern for other characters within the film which results in exposition and character development.
5, Stories I'd Like to Explore…
I feel like I have begun to explore some of my personal experiences within my work, but I do feel limited with what I have produced. I want to explore the struggles I have faced as a first generation immigrant. The idea of heritage and the rebellion or appropriation of said heritage. The struggle one faces when regarding the idea of racial obligation and the examination of what that means to individuals. I would also like to develop the narratives of my work in music videos, there is definitely a set mold when reguarding main stream music videos. I want to develop an aesthetic that I can use to relate my ideas. I feel if an audience is exposed to well produced conceptually aware work they are more likely to feel more engaged than if they were approached by a completely experimental or avant guard piece that is conceptually produced but ultimately alienating to the "main stream"audience.
6, Ways I'd like to act on my Audience are…
I have this obsession with making the people who watch my work question their surroundings or how they feel about a subject. I am a fan of horror movies and so I feel as thought horror is a great medium for conveying large emotions in a small amount of time. I want to take my audience on a roller coaster of emotions. I want my audience to get something different with every viewing of my work. I want layers in my personal narrative that can only be understood once seen through a critical eye. I want my audience to feel comfortable entering a suspended state of disbelief while at the same time being concerned while in that state for my characters and where the narrative is taking them.
